Power Ranking Thursday: Rec Sports to Play Post-College

Trying something a little new here on Bean's Blog. I always try to make things entertaining and funny while maintaining some seriousness in my typical Movie, TV, and Sports blogs. And I like getting real about a show I love or analyzing a basketball game -- but I like to try and make people laugh and entertain most. It's what got me into writing in the first place. While real ones will remember "The Mississippi Mud Monster" Series I wrote and read to the class several times in Mrs. Wilson's 3rd grade class -- those were deeply sad and introspective novellas, not fodder for shits n gigs.

Googled "Mississippi Mud Monsters" while writing this cause I thought 3rd grade me cooked so hard with the name -- in 2024 the Braves named their Double-A affiliate the Mississippi Mud Monsters. Such a fumble on my part. Could've had a fucking franchise by now.

But my real love of writing started in High School. My friends and I would write Power Rankings every week for our Fantasy Football League (League has gone downhill since my days as Commish). We'd take turns writing about the ups and downs of the season, comparing each others teams to a number of different topics like Holidays, Elm Street Restaurants, teachers at our high school, you name it. And I realized I loved writing after I'd send my rankings -- full of obscene insults and smut -- and my friends laughed and talked about how much they enjoyed it.

So with that in mind, I want to try and get back to my roots -- trying to be a little more creative than informative. And I thought why not run back an old classic with a twist (without aggressively insulting my closest friends). And as a washed-up former high school athlete, nothing gets my motor running like rec sports.

Now before I get too far into this -- it's worth noting I haven't played all of these sports. I'm not fucking Bo Jackson, I'm an overweight free-time blogger. But I either currently play, have played in the past with friends, or considered playing or joining a league for all of the sports below. And while they probably exist somewhere -- there is no football on this list. As fun as it was to light up late-to-puberty dweebs like in high school, that's a year-altering injury waiting to happen.

#10 Hockey

I lied above when I said every sport is one I've played/thought about playing. But I know some guys that play Rec-Hockey and love it, and from all the stories I hear about it, it sounds like a fucking blast. But I'm not built for hockey -- my ankle ligaments are hanging on by a thread when there's a drop off between the sidewalk and grass, so skates are a no-go. But it does seem like a good way to relieve the stress of a long work-week to strap on helmets, smack around some pucks, and drop a shoulder into strangers.

#9 Outdoor Soccer

I played soccer like everyone growing up. I think I quit in the 6th grade to start playing football (like a real fucking man), but I was a bounding gazelle in the midfield. Was basically a 6-foot tall weapon at the age of 12 just pounding it ahead to faster forwards for goals (S/o Mike H, guy was a freak on the pitch at Cletus). But you could not pay me now to truck it up and down a field for an hour while guys in much better shape than me kick a ball between my legs. It's a pass for me.

#8 Tennis

I don't know if there are leagues for rec tennis, but what I do know is it's a solid sport that's versatile in how casual or competitive you wanna get with it. I know guys that have intense matches weekly -- I'm not great, so I prefer playing with another not so good player and rallying around. But unfortunately for tennis, it's been surpassed by a sport that's quite literally stealing their courts in parks all over the country.

#7 Bowling League

Coming up with 10 legit rec sports is tough okay. I'll lump in horseshoes as well. But Bowling Leagues are very popular and very fun. It's basically an excuse to get out of your house, and away from your kids for some, to drink beers and toss some rocks with the boys. And here's the thing about bowling -- the people who say it isn't fun, it's because they fucking suck. I took a one credit bowling class in college, so I know what I'm talking about. I don't know if he'll read this but S/o my boy Nick, High School Bowling State Champion, immortalized in the rafters of CBub.

#6 Indoor Soccer

There's an acclaimed author who's name is escaping me at the moment, but he wrote a book entitled "If I Did It" and I hear there was a lot of buzz about it in the 2000s. But it made me think about If I Did It -- it being played recreational soccer -- it would be in an indoor soccer league 100%. (didn't think I'd land that plane did you, Haters. Ha!). Smaller field, can rip it off the boards, in HS everyone played at like 2 a.m. for some reason, probably fun to get blitzed at. In my head they do hockey subs along the boards as well -- if that's not true, I don't wanna know it.

#5 Basketball

Basketball is one of my favorite sports to play with the boys. If you can get lucky enough to get 10+ of the boys together, especially if you luck into an indoor court, it's fucking magical. Loved it in high school, loved playing pickup at the rec in college, intramurals ruled. But Post-college Ball? Slow your role, Boomer. Hamstrings, ankles, knees, back -- you gotta invest in a vigorous pre-game stretching routine if you want to be able to walk the next morning. I've had a lot of fun playing pick-up and in a rec league, but not as much as I once did.

#4 Slow-Pitch Softball

This is a more recent one to me, but the seeds were planted in college intramurals. I hadn't played since 8th grade, and while there's no replacing the feeling of connecting with an actual baseball, a softball is pretty close. Beer League Softball is electric. You never know if you're getting other 20-something shitheads (like us), some 40-year old hardo alcoholics, or a combination of the two, and anything in between. It gets competitive -- we've had tensions rise on several occasions but no brawls (yet), and it's an excuse to get a big group of the boys together for beers and bombs.

#3 Pickleball

We're the Tennis Terrorists, and we're walking into your trap (local tennis court) and taking over your trap. I used to be a hater, but pickleball is genuinely so much fun. I can't get enough. I love getting the fellas together at The L-Wood and going fucking stupid in the kitchen. Getting downright diabolical with the dinks. I thought I was incredibly good, but then I played in a charity tournament recently with people that are actually good, and got run out of the Chicken n Pickle by Kim and Mimi. May as well have bent me over their knee and spanked me with my own paddle. Then I won a raffle with 2 free lessons -- from none other than Kim. Kick me while I'm down why don't you.

#2 Sand Volleyball

I know sand volleyball isn't the most popular rec sport out there, but it's my favorite by a mile. And at the end of the day, this about me, not you people. Hell of a workout, fast, requires lots of different skills and shots -- so satisfying when you rip a spike or find a whole in the defense. Do I love having to rinse off like a dog and having sand inside of me after a game? Not particularly. But we've kept coming back for 10+ years, so clearly there's something about it. (And you're out of your fucking mind if you don't think I'm laying out for a save that Dan's gonna hit into the net). ((Bonus points for being responsible in large part for me getting together with my girlfriend)).

#1 Golf/Golf League

It's the sport I, and I'd bet 90% of the people reading this, have probably played the most since after high school, and definitely the most since college. Whether you're meeting up with the squad for a Saturday morning casual round, or gearing up for a scramble tournament, or playing some night golf under the lights and getting buckled with your absolute boys -- there is no sport like Golf. Especially when you eclipse like 21-years old. The amount of skill it takes, the ups and downs of your game, the highs and lows of a single round, the rush of making a birdie and the defeat of picking up out of the bunker for a max quadruple bogey. No sport brings me more joy and satisfaction when it goes well, more pain and sorrow when it goes bad, or has received more of my money than the game of golf.

If you have any suggestions for future Weekly Power Rankings, please let me know in the comments. I have a few other ideas so far, but would love to hear from the people, and would love to have this be a recurring segment if people like them. Some other ideas I've kicked around:

• Golf Courses in the St. Charles/STL area

• My friends' dogs (could get real contentious)

• Bars in STL/Soulard, or St. Charles

• Best Athlete names in Sports

• Dipping Sauces/condiments