Power Ranking Thursday - Months of the Year
- Luke Loew
- Jun 5
- 6 min read
I've got plenty of sports rankings in the chamber for Power Ranking Thursday, so I wanted to keep things fresh. And many of the sports ones will require some base level knowledge of the sport - this is something anyone can enjoy. Everyone's experienced the Summer breaks, the Holiday excitement, the antsy Springs, and the "dark at 5:00 pm" Falls. 12 months, 12 spots, broken into 3 categories: The Superb, The Solid, and The Shite. Which will reign supreme?
Precursor: This is obviously very opinionated, like all Power Rankings. My list will be very different than any given person's -- And these opinions are driven 100% by sports, weather, holidays, and food.
#12 January
Let's get the shitty months out of the way quickly. January sucks so bad that even the NFL Playoffs starting in January can't save it. Sports-wise, it's actually pretty solid with NFL Playoffs, NBA, College Hoops, CFB Playoff. But it's also frigid outside, people don't usually plan trips, post-holiday hangover, and there are no good holidays (Potential Hot Take: New Year's Day is the worst. Hangover day to realize you accomplished nothing the previous year). It’s also the shittiest time of year at work in my opinion when everyone’s back from extended Christmas breaks - the biggest factor in this ranking.
#11 August
The first major hot take of the blog, and I'm so ready. August is trash. August fucking blows. It marks the end of summer, beginning of school for some, Dog Days of Baseball, no football or basketball or hockey. I'm sure there are some golf tournaments I'm not thinking about, but sports-wise, I think August is the worst month of the year. Add in that it's humid, hot as fuck, Zero Holidays — there’s nothing special about August for me.
#10 February
The shortest month of the year, but forget the other 27 days -- the only one that matters in Feb is Super Bowl Sunday. If the Super Bowl wasn't played in February, we'd divvy up the 28 days and only have 11 months. Valentine's Day is fine when you have a significant other, or it's the “make-you-want-to-unalive-yourself” Day of the Year if you're single. Unless you get real jazzed up about Groundhog Day or Presidents' Day (weirdo), this month is a stinker.
#9 April
April is Tony Snell. It can give you some good minutes (days) when you’re in a bind, but it’s nobody’s first choice. Think Brian Hoyer. As mid as a median. No good holidays unless you count April Fool’s (aka unless you’re a child or person with few friends). CBB National Championship is in April, but the real fun happens in March. Plus April rained out 3 softball games for my team this year, so April can get bent. However — it does have The Masters, which makes it tough to rank this low.
#8 September
September gets a lot of guff that rightfully belongs to August. “It’s the end of Summer, it’s back to school time” you’re wrong! September’s better than August for 2 reasons: not as blistering hot outside (while still being nice out) and it has FOOTBALL. Labor Day is also sneakily an elite holiday when you get older and are working. Plus MLB Playoff races heat up in September.
#7 July
Similar ranking to July below, but I rank it slightly lower despite July being the quintessential summer month to me. It also has an elite holiday in July 4th, prime BBQ season, prime golf season for tourneys/rec/watching the PGA, pools, weekend get togethers, MLB season, and much more. Also slightly biased because both my parents, several family members, and my girlfriend have July bdays — so that lends itself to more fun events. June definitely wins the sports battle, but July has a stronger Holiday, so it's all preference. But if your family isn't taking a vacation in June/July, I think they're just good, not great months.
#6 June
These 2 will be opportunities for some pushback. I’ll accept it. Hell, I may deserve it. The 2 biggest summer months outside the Top 4? But think about the writer in this situation: a very large, very hairy individual who does NOT do well in heat. I still love June - heart of the MLB season, NBA Finals and NHL Finals (this year at least), popular time of year for vacations and travel. And I like that it’s much easier to convince my friends to golf, pickleball, etc in June than it is in October — even if that’s the month I’d prefer to be outdoors. But once you aren’t getting summer breaks from school anymore, I think June (and July) loses it’s luster.
#5 November
Much like Thanksgiving dinner, November is the meat and potatoes of this list. Consistent, reliable, hearty, and never leaves you disappointed (unless you’re like me, a person who actually doesn’t like Thanksgiving dinner). Sports? We got playoff-deciding football, early season NBA/NHL, college hoops AND college football. It’s getting cold outside, but Nov is the month of warm meals to eat indoors while you watch the sports above. Also got Veteran’s Day in addition to Thanksgiving. Easy Top 5 Month.
The top 4 are a gauntlet - mix and match them wherever you please, changes on any given day. But I think these are unequivocally the best 4 months of the year and I stand by that.
#4 December
Was a driving factor in this spot so that the ranking would match my December 4th birthday? Of course not, I’m a fucking journalist. December is the holiday month, everyone knows it. Christmas is the holiday, New Year’s Eve, some other religious holidays scattered about. It’s also an elite time of the year for Football, as well as NBA and NHL seasons (early enough to care). The weather and hours of daylight are an issue for me for sure — but so much of the December magic is being with family, friends coming back home — there’s too much happiness to be any lower than 4.
#3 May
May has quickly risen up the rankings for me. Being the last real month of school as a kid, May was always the best with Field Day and end of school year events. When you get to college, it’s even better as everyone tries to cram in a year of partying before going back home for summer. And post-schooling years, you realize it’s just the month with incredible weather (sans rain in MO) a banger holiday weekend (Memorial Day), pre-ridiculous summer rates for golf, pool season, and so much more. For sports: peak NBA/NHL playoffs, early enough in MLB for your team’s season not to be over, and a banger PGA golf tourney every weekend. May plays every year.
#2 October
October is as close to a 5-tool player as you’ll ever see. Sports? Electric part of the NFL and college football season, MLB postseason, handful of golf tourneys, the start of NBA/NHL, and high school football if you’re into that. It’s also an elite weather month for a guy like me — early-month it’s still warm and sunny, mid-month it’s cooling off and the leaves are changing, and by the end it’s officially Hoodie Szn. Holidays? Halloween has lost steam as a holiday since college, but is still a heavy hitter. Columbus Day is an off-work-day for many too. Perfect time of year for trips pre-holidays, good enough weather for outdoor activities, and who doesn’t love a spooky movie marathon?? (Me I don’t love that). October is an elite clean-up hitter, but the 3-hole hitter is March.
#1 March
Let me break it down for you. St Paddy’s day, aka Top 3 holiday: Check. The best 4-day stretch on the sports calendar, aka the first two rounds of March Madness? Check. Beginning of Spring weather aka sunny and chilly (the best weather imo), Check. The weather + sports combo for March is as good as it gets. When it gets nice enough for golf, BBQ’s, patio drinking, outdoor activities, etc — nothing beats it. Plus MLB Opening Day, Spring Breaks, less rain than April — I’m biased toward St Paddy’s and college hoops, but if March isn’t a top 3 month, I don’t know what is.
Kind of a random power rankings this week, I’ll admit it. But thought it was something different and fun that anyone could read. .
Come back tomorrow for Tom’s Two Cents and come back next week on Wednesday for The Bean’s List, and Thursday for a brand new set of Power Rankings.
Comment below what your Top 4 months would be!
Not much really to critique here Beans. The big summer months of June and July seem low. It feels weird to not have at least one summer month in the superb tier (unless you count May). However, the two best drinking Holidays are in March (St. Patricks) and October (Halloween) so I respect it.